PDF Independently Raising a Man-Thoughts from a Single Mothers Perspective

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Lakshmi Priya
  1. Are you raising responsible or contingent children?
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  3. Boys Without Fathers: 3 Myths, 3 Miracles | Psychology Today
  4. Single Moms Talk About Raising Children Alone

But still Lakshmi says that at the end of the day things are much better for her right now. I am doing whatever I like to do. We need to raise children without scars.

Ruchika was a simple, homely, and docile girl of 21 when she was married off by her family. She got pregnant just after a couple of months of the marriage. The problems started immediately. Her husband would drink, physically abuse her, and flaunt his relationships with other women. Ruchika still tried to be in the marriage for 4. She says that she has been extremely lucky to have a very loving family. Her parents, brothers, and sisters-in-law were all supportive of her decision to end the marriage.

Hence, she came back with her young daughter to start a new life. Ruchika built her life almost from scratch since then. She started as an in-charge of a short hand and typing institute and slowly she learnt enough to become a teacher in that institute. She began her career with a paltry salary of Rs.

Are you raising responsible or contingent children?

Naveen Jindal. She says that her boss, Mr. Jindal, has been very supportive in her professional journey. She is really disappointed by the way these people think even in this day and age. Ruchika has emerged from a docile to a powerful woman, living her life by her terms now. She says that gender is just a reference, a state of being a man or a woman, but that does not stop her from reaching her career goals. Her daughter, whom she has tried to give the best education, is 24 years old now and is working with Medtronic after her BTech in Biotechnology.

Lakshmi belongs to an orthodox Tamil Brahmin family and she happens to be the first single mother in her family. Even though her father has accepted her divorce now, her brother is still coping with the same while the rest of the world, she says, still considers her a slut.

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Lakshmi left her marriage without a single rupee of support from her husband and has changed cities to live a life of dignity and peace. She currently supports her daughter through her freelancing job. As a single mom, Lakshmi has faced constant problems everywhere — starting from documentation requirements to searching for an accommodation. Currently, she lives in an apartment whose owner herself is also a single mom. Lakshmi is disappointed to see the level ignorance and bias even among educated women regarding single mothers.

She lives in a gated community where the women have weekly lunch parties. Lakshmi received incredible support including financial help from some of her friends during her separation.

Boys Without Fathers: 3 Myths, 3 Miracles | Psychology Today

Her mother in law would even advise her to apply concealer on her bruises and go to work! Even when she wanted to separate, her husband and his family made her life extremely difficult. They even alleged that she was unfit to be a mother because she smoked and occasionally consumed alcohol. Even in the court, she says that the judges will form their own opinions about a woman who wants a divorce. As she appeared in the court in jeans and tees as opposed to Indian clothing, even the judge showed his bias against her.

She wonders what other women without connections might have to go through. Her message to all women is to support each other rather than judging one another. She is an avid blogger but says that most people only create a show of being empowered and liberal on social media platforms but deep within, their thoughts are backdated and regressive.

Give yourself a chance to a better life and come out of such relationships. Despite being highly accomplished academically, Rimli went through extreme physical and emotional abuse. Her in-laws and husband reduced her to a maid where she was expected to finish all the housework herself. Her husband suffered from catatonic schizophrenia and slowly she started getting afraid of him. She even tried committing suicide during which some of the neighbours rescued her. After 8 years of marriage, they had a child and he was not even there when her water broke.

She was taken to the hospital by her mother. He created problems about having a girl child and then demanded sex from Rimli even while her stitches from her C-section were raw. Her husband left them and went abroad for work once again. When her daughter was 2.

It was then that she finally walked away from her marriage. He ultimately gave her a divorce without any alimony. Rimli even had three surgeries herself, including a gall stone removal and a spinal cord operation, where she was all alone in the hospital. However, despite all her struggles and even after managing a career and her daughter, Rimli still finds time to pursue her passions for writing and dancing.

Think carefully before marriage. Do not give in to domestic violence-lodge an FIR immediately.

20 Things Every Parent of Kids with Special Needs Should Hear

I took a long time to speak up. Do not wait for so long.

Single Moms Talk About Raising Children Alone

Single moms in India face a lot of judgement and discrimination, and things are far from easy, even though there is change, slow to come, but sure. Maybe we can do our bit by supporting them all we can? Liked This Post? Man raised by women are often more sensitive and attuned emotionally. Everyone wants to make some extra income from home or online and I know it does work because I have done it myself before, however the amount I made was not good enough and this is what has brought me to this system I was hesitant to try at first, because I am really sick of all the quick money making schemes I came across daily, but this is something completely different and I recommend to everyone to try it.

What finally made me decide to try this system was that it came with a Money back Guarantee so I had nothing to lose and boy am I glad I decided to try this out. This illustrates the problem with the documentary genre today: rather than test a hypothesis or thesis statement, they are almost invariably thesis-prescriptive, predetermined showcases of agenda-curated anecdotal cases. I was raised by a single mother, and have spent my life ripped hither and thither because I did not understand that she was socializing me as she was socialized that is, traditional female gender socialization in the baby boom , yet most of the outside world attempted to instill traditional male gender socialization.

I don't resent those two things, but rather the socially paralyzing experience of being taught one way to function and then ostracized for it outside the walls when we had them. I have typically sought feminist partners, believing them to be more likely to accept my conundrum, and have found those I've dated to expect nearly the same things of men as non-feminists do: that men should make the first move, men should be the take-charge type, men should be confident, men should pay for the first date, etc.

I've had a great deal of what I suppose some might characterize as "success" at times, but only when defying every single socialized behavior I feel. I'm all for diminishing the bifurcation of gender roles, and making the spectrum of gender identification as smooth a gradient as possible. But even if the problem is society's expectations, the lifelong hell of being raised to be rejected by one's society is no less of traumatic, and impressing that on a child is no more empowering to the child than impressing traditional gender roles would be.

I'm raising my daughters without gender expectations, and simply tempering outside socialization with destigmatization.

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For example, when they returned from last week's dinner visitation with their mother, my younger one said "Girls rule and boys drool! I'd give anything for them to not experience my life, and I can only hope this helps it turns out that way. Totaly agree. Single mother raised mostly. We had a Step Dad since 8 but he was able to take charge at all. Yes I exhibit these bad traits despite being successful in life. Mostly I dont fit in a male world properly and have found out through reudadimtuary testing I have a 'balaced brain' which means neither male brain thinking nor femail.

I tend not not take on others ideas as being better than my own. Yes my actual Dad and my Mom faught at times but my Dad was patient but a real man and wouldn't tolerate constant berating. Later on in my life others quietly told me how my mother was painful. Poor thing though am pretty sure she had a hard life when younger, and it showed. Well, Sean Grover is correct in some manners, however, these Miracles are nothing compared to the truth.

Poor whites raised by 2 parents don't commit crime as much and neither do poor blacks. Here is another fact, most teen pregnancies are single parent families. To rebut some arguments, if a son lost his father, he may be inclined to leave as well, aggression and rage are the emotions he will feel and women like emotionally secure men, not emasculated or wife beaters, and lastly, they will grow up more financially insecure due to only having one parent working.

"Our Biggest Fear is Raising Black Boys" - Ask a Black Woman Ep.6

I'm very surprised that this article did not undergo any editing. It's published under the "Psychology Today" banner, a reasonably well respected magazine but it is rife with spelling and grammar errors. Turns out everyone likes to use the Obama came from a single mother example. What they forget is that he was raised by two very strong figures. I was raised by a single mother - a very unqualified single mother. Sometimes I wonder if she was coerced into having me because clearly her mind wasn't there. Her education wasn't there either and it was this deficiency in brain power that rendered her unable to help me become a good student.

It was in this deficiency that I stopped growing, poor nutrition does that to your whole body you know? It was in this lack of male role models that I was conditioned to act out on emotions, hence my repeated failures in life - struggling is where I find myself now. There are exceptions - tiny exceptions. The rest are in places not so nice. Thank you for giving me hope. I am still struggling with the idea of having to become a single mom but this article made me see me and my son's future not so bad for a moment.

It is utterly a disgraceful and disgusting egocentric idea. Your way of writing comment is absolutely inappropriate.